Wednesday, January 25, 2012

New Before/After: "Tangi's Teardrops"

Today's before/after is the fantasy Tangi's Teardrops by Liz Grace Davis. Liz says, "I have to honestly say I love it. ... I think now it's short but says everything." Here's what we did together:


How long does it take for someone’s world to come crashing down?
For twelve year old Tangi, it’s less than a week.
One day her father is tucking her in, and five days later, he’s gone and she finds herself in the village church attending his funeral. The only thing he leaves her, are three empty bottles and the future of being an orphan.

After the funeral, Tangi and her stepsisters move to an uncle’s farm. With more food, more clothes and a proper bed to sleep in, she should be happy. But she’s not. In fact, she has never been unhappier. She’s starved, beaten and treated like a mere slave by people who are supposed to care for her.

Then one night, she discovers a secret connected to the empty bottles her father left her. A secret that reveals her tears to be something extra ordinary.
A secret that shows her a way out of this world and leads her to the Kingdom of Rosevine. A place where the impossible only exists in one’s mind and everything she could ever want, is right at her fingertips.

Surely, she should be happy now. She is, but for how long?

Is Rosevine really an escape or is it a ticking time bomb? Only Tangi can decide and time has just about run out.

When Tangi's father dies, he leaves her nothing but three empty bottles. A kind uncle takes the poverty-stricken girl and her stepsisters in, and for a time life gets better on his farm. But Tangi remains a lonely outsider; her stepsisters tease her for her crippled leg, and the housekeepers use her like a servant.

Just before her thirteenth birthday, Tangi learns the truth about her father's strange legacy: the three bottles aren't empty any more. They're filled with all the tears she's cried since her father died, and her tears are enchanted. She must use them to travel to Rosevine, the world of her dead mother. Tangi not only belongs there but is necessary to keep Rosevine alive.

Tangi's tears will save Rosevine, and Rosevine will save Tangi from a cruelty-filled life, except for one thing: Tangi's lost the bottles.

Want me to help with your blurb? I can do that.


  1. I like the new version. Good job. The last line of the second to last paragraph seems a little off to me. It might just be me though.

    Tangi not only belongs there but is necessary to keep Rosevine alive.

    It feels like it needs a pronoun or article.

  2. I could have done it:

    Tangi not only belongs there--she's necessary to keep Rosevine alive.

    More than one way... :)