Saturday, October 8, 2011

Before and After: "Five Dances with Death"

This is one of the free reworkings I did at Kindleboards, this time for Austin Briggs and his book "Five Dances with Death." I'm really glad I got to work on this blurb because Austin's book is quite good (I bought it and am reading it now). Here's what he has to say about working with me:

"MeiLin's re-writing of my blurb has been fantastic. While others criticized my original version, she simply offered me a revised text. This is a dramatic improvement, and the new blurb has been praised by quite a few people. It's elegant and to the point. Looking forward to seeing the increased sales!"

Thanks Austin! I hope you get 'em, because you deserve 'em.

Here's Austin's original blurb:

Death is never far for Angry Wasp.

His daughter lost to slavers, his wife immersed in powerful sorcery and his nation embroiled in Montezuma’s bitter war and under threat of encroaching Spanish invasion, Angry Wasp faces the battle of a lifetime.

To regain his family, save his nation from extinction and protect his very soul from dangers far more perilous than he dares admit, there is only one possible solution: a dance with Death, to the haunting melody of hope and loss.

Power, tragedy, and betrayal weave a desperate song of reckless gambles to gain salvation, with every battle drawing Wasp deeper into life-threatening events and crucial choices. One wrong decision... and he loses it all.

When the music ceases and the dead are counted, will Angry Wasp hold the key to his daughter's freedom? Or will he have led his proud nation to its ultimate collapse...

This is my reworking, which Austin decided to use pretty much verbatim:

In the days before the Conquistadors, Angry Wasp is fighting to keep his family and his small Aztec nation alive. Slavers have kidnapped his daughter. His wife has turned to powerful sorcery. His people have challenged Montezuma’s dominance and now face extinction. The Spaniards have begun their march inland. Now Wasp must rely on his military prowess, wit and even dark magic to regain his family and protect the independence of his nation, as he begins a desperate journey that will forever change the fate of the Aztec people.

Want me to help with your blurb? I can do that.


  1. Beautiful job! When you were able to explain that the book was about an Aztec nation, it suddenly became much more interesting. (Up till I read your blurb, I thought it was a futuristic fantasy set on another planet!) You really are very good at what you do!

  2. Thank you! The book itself is well worth the download. I bought it and am enjoying it a great deal.