Saturday, December 3, 2011

Before/After: My own book!


There's a saying: The shoemaker's children go barefoot. Such has been the case with my poor novel. Writing your own blurb is one of the worst parts of being indie, and I am not exempted from that.

Recently I submitted my book to Why Is My Book Not Selling (though it's not selling too terribly badly) and got some good feedback--mostly questions--that I could use to hone my blurb. (Questions, friends, are the real secret to blurb refinement. Listen to the questions you get in feedback.) I'm still not 100% satisfied, but I thought I'd share the results with you.

Before:
Sheltered Prince Temmin arrives at the intrigue-filled court of his father and finds his world turned upside down. Suddenly he's the target of assassins sent by enemies he didn't even know he had. His family's immortal advisor immerses him in a magic book filled with the forgotten stories of the Kingdom's women. And he's falling for the beautiful twins Allis and Issak.

But the twins are the human avatars of the Gods of love and desire. To be with them, Temmin must fulfill a prophecy so old it's moved into folklore--a prophecy that may signal the end of the monarchy--and his father does everything he can to stop him.

Temmin must choose a path: one leads to ultimate glory for Tremont, the other to its end.
The first book in the fantasy saga "An Intimate History of the Greater Kingdom." 

After:
Fantasy Book Critic 2010 Top 6 Indie Fantasy Book: "A+...I would definitely urge you to try this one."

Eighteen-year-old Prince Temmin has led a childhood as close to normal as possible, far from the capital. When he comes of age and joins his father King Harsin, he's completely unprepared for the politics, assassins and sexual intrigues at court.

Temmin is even more unprepared when he discovers there is magic in the world, all in the hands of his father's immortal advisor Teacher. Teacher becomes his tutor, and Temmin discovers his lessons are contained in a magic book. When Teacher reads to him, Temmin experiences everything the story's characters do, and he's forced to confront serious mistakes in the kingdom's--and his own--past.

His present is just as complicated. He's falling for beautiful twins--brother and sister--who are the human hosts of the Gods of love and desire called the Lovers. Being with them is more than sex; it's a religious calling, and the Lovers have spoken clearly to him. But an ancient prophecy says that if Temmin heeds Their call it may spell the end of the monarchy, and his father King Harsin fights him every step of the way.

Temmin must choose: Serve the Lovers and lose his father--and possibly the kingdom--or serve King Harsin and risk the wrath of the Gods.

Set in a Victorianesque world of magic, sexuality, political intrigue and military conquest, "Lovers and Beloveds" is the first book in the series "An Intimate History of the Greater Kingdom."



Want me to help with your blurb? I can do that. Even if I have trouble with my own! :D

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