New before/after: "Tritium Gambit"

Today's before/after is Erik Hyrkas's comic science fiction novel Tritium Gambit, the first in his series Max and Miranda. This was something of a toughie; depending on how you squint, it's either an "actioner" with lots of comedy, or a comedy with lots of action. We wanted to catch the one but not lose the other.

Here's what Erik says about going through the blurb process with me:

I couldn't have found anybody better to help me with a blurb for my book.  I spent dozens of hours of frustration on my own, and more hours consulting other writers, friends, and family, but without you, I couldn't have found the right blurb.

Thanks, Erik! It was fun working with you. Take a look at what Erik and I did together:

--Oh wait! You should know that Erik sent me forty--40!--different attempts at his blurb! I'll spare you the forty; this is the one he was using when he hired me:

Before:

The best agents examine their briefs before a harrowing mission. Max waits until his briefs need to be washed.

He wakes up this morning hungry for bacon and eggs. Instead, he’s served an aromatic pile of opportunity. The prestigious record he set this year might be the culprit: he's lost the most partners to intergalactic predators. His new partner, Miranda, is considering a career change, which may help her live longer.

Sometimes your greatest enemy isn't the forty foot alien chewing your arm, but you have to start somewhere.

After:

Intergalactic Secret Service Agent Maximus Anderson is a trouble magnet. Oh, he's fine, but every single one of his former partners is either dead, disabled, or permanently stinks of Krylian boar spray.

Fresh-out-of-the-Academy Agent Miranda Smith thinks she's hot stuff, but she's already lost her first partner and is headed toward trouble magnet territory herself.

Now, in hopes the two nuisances will kill each other off, the ISS has paired Max and Miranda up to investigate possible alien activity in a galactic backwater called Minnesota. Something seems to be lunching on the locals, and that something may have hotwired a military spaceship with enough firepower to level a city.

The closer Max and Miranda get to solving the mystery, the harder it becomes to resist their pesky romantic attraction—and stay off the menu themselves. Max will tell you, it's tough to crack a case with a giant alien chewing on your arm.

Tritium Gambit is the first in the comic science fiction series Max and Miranda.

I'd love to help you with your blurb!